When you go through emotional trauma in a relationship, it can feel as though the moment now defines you. While the trauma can be impactful on your life, it’s important to understand that you can move on after this occurs.
The thought of recovering from relationship trauma may feel impossible and even daunting at times. You may be unsure of where to start or how to feel. The important thing to know is that recovering from relationship trauma is possible, and throughout this article, we will discuss ways to begin the healing process.
It’s also important to note that there is no way to handle relationship trauma. If one option below isn’t the best fit for you, there are other options available. The journey of two people who experienced similar traumas can look completely different and that’s okay.
As you begin to heal from relationship trauma, you will need to take note of the different parts of the traumatic experience. Those steps include:
- The traumatic event: this is the event that has brought on mental, physical, or emotional pain or harm to you.
- The experience: this is different from the event itself. When reviewing the experience, take note of your overall mental health at the time, how you felt both physically and emotionally, and where you were at at the time.
- Post-event impact: this will be the impact the event has left on your physical, mental, and emotional health.
Now that you know how to take note of the experience, we will move on to how to work through and move past the trauma.
Acknowledge what occurred
This step can be very difficult, and you may feel reluctant to admit or share what occurred. While this is difficult, it’s important to take note of what’s happened. You may want to act as if nothing happened and be in denial without accepting the situation. Although this may seem easier, avoiding it will make it so you’re unable to begin the healing process. It’s okay to need to process what’s occurred, and it may be uncomfortable to acknowledge. Remember, it will be worth it once you do.
Write about your experience.
Many people who have experienced relationship trauma find comfort and even healing in journaling. This can include journaling about what has happened. It can also be your overall thoughts and opinions in the aftermath of the trauma or how you’re currently feeling. There’s no right or wrong way to journal, so this is a great way to do what is best for you and to customize the experience to fit your needs. If you enjoy drawing, draw in your journal, take a few notes, or write a few words. If you struggle to get started, find a journal that gives prompts to start you in the writing process.
Try not to rush the process.
You may feel as though you want to get back to normal as quickly as possible, but it’s important to not take shortcuts or rush the healing process. It takes time to heal after trauma occurs, and it takes a large amount of understanding and patience from not only you but also those around you.
Find your routine
This may include going back to your normal routine before the relationship trauma, or it can include finding your new normal. It’s important to remember your pre-trauma lifestyle and take note of that routine. From there you can see what works and what doesn’t work for you anymore and modify it so you can feel some sense of normalcy and maintain your healing process.
Many people will want to isolate or deal with things on their own after a relationship trauma occurs. While this may feel easier at the moment, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s just as important to remember that those closest to you will want to help you through this tough time, but if you’re uncomfortable talking to them, consider talking to a therapist. Reach out to learn more about trauma therapy and how it can help you.