As you look back on the quickly passing years of your life, you realize how long you have put off cleaning up the mess of longing for close relationships.
As you look back on the quickly passing years of your life, you realize how long you have put off cleaning up the mess of longing for close relationships.
On yet another lonely Friday night, you find yourself scrolling through old photos on your phone and are suddenly struck by how many of the smiling faces are just images of people you used to know.
Like you, I know what it’s like to feel your biological clock grinding with crushing tension
Like you, I know what it’s like to feel your biological clock grinding with crushing tension
As a single woman in Los Angeles, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of endless profiles, exhausted as you search for your life partner. We both know the answer isn’t someone giving you tips on using Bumble—if only it was that simple. The feelings that come up when you try to get close hold the clues to the puzzle you’ve been trying to solve.
I know from my own healing process and my 15 years as a therapist that you can embrace intimacy and discover more peace and joy than you ever thought possible.
I’m passionate about helping you really embrace hope—not just in a fleeting emotional moment, but deep inside your innermost being. In our work together, I will illuminate your hidden truths, so you can gather your scattered pieces and put yourself back together again; encourage you to re-write the story of your life; and celebrate with you as you begin to truly love yourself.

I know from my own healing process and my 15 years as a therapist that you can embrace intimacy and discover more peace and joy than you ever thought possible.
I’m passionate about helping you really embrace hope—not just in a fleeting emotional moment, but deep inside your innermost being. In our work together, I will illuminate your hidden truths, so you can gather your scattered pieces and put yourself back together again; encourage you to re-write the story of your life; and celebrate with you as you begin to truly love yourself.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. The intimacy seekers I work with are remarkably like you.
Dedicated, motivated, and yearning for so much more than what they’ve known.
Except for this perhaps most important, yet most challenging, category of relationships. You can’t shake the haunting fear that you could end up not finding a partner who loves you, and not having children who simultaneously drive you crazy and delight you—that the hourglass could run out as your carefully guarded dream of finding a life partner and having a family slips through your fingers.
You’ve tried all the recipes for healthy relationships on blogs and social media posts. You’ve struggled to follow all the instructions for gratitude, fulfillment, self-love…the list goes on. But you can’t seem to find a way to put it all together into a cohesive map for the intimacy you desire.
Except for this perhaps most important, yet most challenging, category of relationships. You can’t shake the haunting fear that you could end up not finding a partner who loves you, and not having children who simultaneously drive you crazy and delight you—that the hourglass could run out as your carefully guarded dream of finding a life partner and having a family slips through your fingers.
You’ve tried all the recipes for healthy relationships on blogs and social media posts. You’ve struggled to follow all the instructions for gratitude, fulfillment, self-love…the list goes on. But you can’t seem to find a way to put it all together into a cohesive map for the intimacy you desire.
What you’re missing is that you need someone to walk beside you on this journey--a therapist who has been where you are, and knows how to guide you beyond your stuck places. A therapist who gets you and sees you, and empowers you to pursue the desires of your heart. I will assure you that your dreams are not impossibly unrealistic, no matter how defeated you feel.
Despite your best attempts, you know you can’t keep hiding from the truth: you need therapy.
What you’re missing is that you need someone to walk beside you on this journey--a therapist who has been where you are, and knows how to guide you beyond your stuck places. A therapist who gets you and sees you, and empowers you to pursue the desires of your heart. I will assure you that your dreams are not impossibly unrealistic, no matter how defeated you feel.
Despite your best attempts, you know you can’t keep hiding from the truth: you need therapy.
I work from an attachment-based perspective.

To put it simply, that means I recognize and help you see the patterns you play out again and again in relationships. (You know, the reason why you keep ending up on first dates with guys more interested in getting you in bed than getting to know you).
“But that’s all there is,” you may be thinking. “If I raise my standards, there won’t be anyone left to choose from.”
Here’s the thing though. You and I both know that that’s a feeble excuse. There are good guys out there. In fact, the problem isn’t that there aren’t good guys, it’s that you keep settling for losers.
In fact, those patterns aren’t just limited to your Bumble profile, but rather they’re rooted in your childhood. When we work together, I’ll help you uncover how early relationships influence your present day, lackluster dating life. When you understand the origins, you can begin to free yourself up to create new ways of relating, to yourself and to the men you choose to date.
“But that’s all there is,” you may be thinking. “If I raise my standards, there won’t be anyone left to choose from.”
Here’s the thing though. You and I both know that that’s a feeble excuse. There are good guys out there. In fact, the problem isn’t that there aren’t good guys, it’s that you keep settling for losers.
In fact, those patterns aren’t just limited to your Bumble profile, but rather they’re rooted in your childhood. When we work together, I’ll help you uncover how early relationships influence your present day, lackluster dating life. When you understand the origins, you can begin to free yourself up to create new ways of relating, to yourself and to the men you choose to date.
This will work for you because we will figure out the reasons you are scared to get close, even though you want to so badly. We will heal the early experiences that underlie your fear.
Wanna know my bonafides? They include:
Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist.
Certified as a Mentor in Deeper Dating.
Super therapist ninja when it comes to the Five Core Areas of the Self Impacted by Trauma.
Trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and families.
Serving women throughout California and specializing in relationships, self-esteem, and trauma, Encino therapist Kirstin Carl is here to help you improve your mental health and find the fulfilling love life you’ve been looking for. Whether you are working through anxiety or depression, healing from childhood trauma or toxic relationships, or trying to figure out how to boost your self-confidence, Kirstin is here to take the next step with you.