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Dating Coaching

Are You Ready For A Fulfilling Relationship But Feel Stuck?

Do you long to find a life partner but worry that time is running out   to find them?

Has a lack of serious relationships in your past or a history of toxic, dead-end relationships made you lose confidence in your dating abilities?

Would working with an experienced therapist who offers tangible dating strategies be helpful to you?

Perhaps you finally feel ready to share your life with someone but don’t know where to start. After putting other priorities ahead of a relationship—such as a career, raising children as a single or divorced parent, or taking care of the needs of family and friends—your focus may have been elsewhere. Although you feel proud of your accomplishments, you might wonder if by not focusing on a relationship sooner, you’ve missed your chance.

Maybe You’ve Given Up On Dating After One Too Many Negative Experiences

You may have tried dating apps before, but the endless swiping has left you discouraged. Or perhaps a pattern emerged of dating people who were emotionally unavailable or not committed to moving forward with a relationship. If you’ve experienced unhealthy relationships in your past, you might sense that something is holding you back from getting what you want but haven’t identified what it is.

The good news is that dating coaching can help you overcome the emotional obstacles that prevent you from finding the right person and help you clearly define who you want that person to be. Once you feel emotionally ready to start dating, you will be equipped with helpful strategies to handle the ins and outs of finding the right partner.

couple in restaurant on date

Dating In The Modern Era Can Be Frustrating, Unfruitful, And Intimidating

Dating is complicated, especially in today’s digital age, where dating apps have become the primary way to meet people, and organically meeting someone new is increasingly rare. Sadly, many of us feel dissatisfied with our experiences with online dating but aren’t hopeful we will meet someone otherwise. We often end up with a lot of "pen pal" texting interactions that never progress to a face-to-face date. For those of us who are uncomfortable with setting up an online profile and seeing what happens, we may become hopeless that we’ll ever find someone.

 

All the expectations that come along with dating can be especially hard for women who feel their biological clocks ticking and are afraid they've missed their chance. Deciding whether or not to gamble on finding a partner in time to conceive a child is a difficult decision, fraught with many emotions and factors to consider.

The Resources We’ve Tried Before Have Come Up Empty

Despite all the "connection" technology affords us, more people than ever report feeling isolated and alone. [1] In response, many of us have eagerly devoured every self-help book we can find or, perhaps, read articles online about mindfulness and self-compassion, trying in vain to apply these principles to our daily lives to no avail. Without a concrete or practical translation to everyday life, these terms are vague and overused concepts that fail to inspire lasting change.

Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, there's no easy checklist or recipe to follow. What’s more, opening your heart to a potential partner often brings up long-buried remnants of your past. However, unearthing unaddressed hurts can be the key to transformation. My coaching process works from the inside out to prepare you to enter the dating world and attract the partner you’re looking for.

image of Kirstin Carl smiling at camera

I Offer Dating Coaching Informed By My Background As A Licensed Therapist

The best relationships are formed when both people feel whole and complete, each having something to offer the other rather than looking to the other person to complete them. With dating coaching, you will learn how to approach relationships from a place of abundance rather than deprivation. 

As an experienced therapist, I will partner with you to piece together how your past informs who you swipe right for. Together, we will uncover how breaking free from trauma is the key to stepping into the best version of yourself, which helps make room for the relationship you desire.

What To Expect From Dating Coaching

Dating coaching is a safe space to dive deep into your heart and mind with a licensed therapist. Our sessions together will go far beyond receiving a friend’s advice or following a list of bullet points found online. As our connection in coaching sessions grows, we will carefully peel back the layers of your heart. As we gently explore your story, the pieces of the puzzle reveal themselves.

In our work together, I will help you clarify what you want and need in a future partner. By examining your previous relationships, you can process any unresolved pain and hurt while also gaining clarity about the characteristics you’re looking for moving forward. Depending on what you would like to focus on, dating coaching may include:

  • Exploring how to create dating profiles that effectively attract quality responses;
  • Identifying red—and green—flags early on in the dating process;
  • Curbing bad dating habits, like trying to read others’ minds or projecting worst-case scenarios when text conversations go quiet;
  • Broadening your definition and application of self-care and self-compassion;
  • Learning how to say no without guilt or worry over hurt feelings;
  • Learning how to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs without shutting down.

What You May Perceive As Your Weaknesses Could Actually Be Your Strengths

As a Certified Deeper Dating Mentor, I have specialized knowledge that will empower you to uncover blocks on your path to healthy intimacy. [1] Oftentimes, the things we’re most ashamed of when it comes to dating—like not having much experience or bouncing back from a string of unhealthy relationships—are hidden strengths. Learning how to reframe your perspective and not hide away what you fear as a weakness can become your greatest strength. Not having much dating history means you’re free of baggage; suffering through bad relationships means you’re crystal clear on what you want now and ready for a fresh start. 

By illuminating your hidden strengths, you can gather your scattered pieces and put yourself back together again. I will encourage you to rewrite the story of your life and celebrate with you as you begin to truly love yourself. You will know self-love beyond those memes on social media you mindlessly scroll past. You will learn to value yourself.

But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Dating Coaching Is Right For You…

What’s the difference between a coach and a licensed therapist who offers dating coaching?

As a practicing Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), my background and education level expand the depth and scope of what we can work on together in dating coaching. You may have read about attachment styles on websites or social media. As a dating coach for both men and women, I will take you beyond what you can get from a book or online. My extensive knowledge can help you achieve deep inner transformation while also providing you with concrete tools, tips, and strategies you can apply to dating.

What’s a better investment, working with a Certified Deeper Dating Mentor or subscribing to another dating app?

No matter which or how many dating apps you’re on, if you don’t do the deep work on yourself, you’re likely to continue repeating unhealthy patterns over and over again. Partnering with a dating coach and mentor is a chance to commit to your growth wholeheartedly. What you put into our sessions together will be proportional to what you get from it. If you give it your all, you become open to amazing possibilities.

I’m nervous about dating coaching—what if it brings up things I’m not ready to talk about?

Rest assured that we will go at your pace, and I won't push you any faster than you're comfortable with. I have many years of experience guiding clients through the healing process and have been told I’m patient and gentle. Along the way, you will be equipped with self-soothing skills to practice outside sessions. This way, you can better handle what may come up in the moment.

Healing Your Past Can Prepare You To Meet The Love Of Your Life

I am passionate about helping others identify their best qualities so they feel ready to attract a fulfilling relationship. To find out more about my dating coach consultant services either online or in person, call 818-593-9047, or visit my contact page to schedule a free 30-minute call. 

Step 1: Schedule your free phone consultation.

Step 2: Complete your pre-consultation questionnaire.

Step 3: We meet for our scheduled consultation!